We are about to conclude for now our Communication blog so we can go on to other valuable information. There is so much that comprises having a happy life, it is not just one particular thing such as having good social skills, good manners and of course being able to communicate effectively with other people, both socially and in business. In life we don’t have one roll, we have many and certainly some of them very stressful.
Okay, let’s go on to good Listening Skills. I remind you that if you notice there are a few you are lacking, try applying one at a time so you can integrate it easily into your daily life. I always say that having the interest to be the best you can be is like having a diamond in the rough, then slowly it gets polished and it becomes a precious stone.
Listening & Communication Skills
- Listen do not just Hear.
- Do not interrupt the speaker while they are expressing their thoughts.
- Do not get distracted by other things. (phones, papers, etc.)
- Do not get ahead of the speaker to comment on what they just said, wait until they are finished.
- Do not think about your answer while the speaker is talking, you may miss something important. Listen carefully to what they are saying.
- Do not raise your voice, when it is your turn to speak.
- Be observant of the tone of voice you use when you reply.
- Do not use slang when you reply to the speaker.
- Do not appear restless (Remember body language speaks loudly).
- Control your facial expressions.
- When in doubt about something the speaker has said, repeat it back to them. For example: “You said the sale was not successful because of our company’s negligence? Is that correct? When you repeat back to the speaker what they said they may well correct themselves. i.e. “Well, I did not exactly mean….) Or you may want them to repeat it because you missed something or you might have misunderstood something. It is okay to take notes while they speak the subject that you may want to be clarified.
- Do not rush to answer, you may want to think for a minute about what you just heard so you can better express your side.
Keep in mind we have two ears. The only way we know the other persons’ point of view or argument is if we listen, not only what they say, how they, their body language, the tone of voice and their vocabulary.
Getting ahead of the speaker is one of the greatest problems in communication if you can control the impulse to get a word in you might surprise yourself, you may learn something you never knew (Like a slip of the tongue by the speaker, or a lie, try it.)
As I promised from the very beginning I will try to provide you tools to make your life easier. Of course, that is a tall order because it is not just one thing we need to do to have a good balance in our lives and make that journey to happiness easier, however, I will try.
The last blog we covered attitudes which requires a lot of soul-searching and admit you have not only a relationship problem, you have a “chip on your shoulder” and you certainly have serious communication problems. So let’s see what I can do to shed some light to better those situations.
This information will be shared in segments primarily so it can be internalized and applied to your daily life. This is one of the Seminars I offered to Fortune 500 companies to increase productivity and communication. I hope you benefit from it.
Understand the four ways people express themselves.
Understand the 4 ways people listen to each other,
Assumptions can lead to mistakes, misunderstandings, and strained relationships when treated like facts.
- Jumping to conclusions
- Focusing on intentions
- Thinking you know best
- Treat everyone as an individual
- Listen first
- Avoid generalizations
- Communicate first act second
- Assume the other person means well
THERE ARE FOUR APPROACHES TO SPEAKING AND LISTENING
- Aggressive Speaking
- Non-assertive Speaking
- Passive-Aggressive Speaking
- Assertive Speaking- Direct, positive, confident. Point is clear a
and you maintain respect for others.
- Passive Listening
- Selective Listening
- Attentive Listening
- Active Listening- Non-verbal and verbal feedback allowed
Express that you understand the message
Demonstrate that you understand the message
HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN SOMEONE REALLY LISTENS TO Y0U?
This we will discuss in our next blog….stay tuned. If you want a free copy of script please let me know I will send it to you, free of charge of course. Won’t you share this training with someone who can benefit from it? Thanks.
I hope you’re maintaining your spirits up and enjoying the warm weather we are having.
My sincere appreciation for the great reception to this free training that I am offering to everyone. It really is of great value for human relations and certainly will make for better relationships.
Now down to business:
You don’t have to agree with everything you hear, however, we must show empathy, not sympathy.
Objectively listen to the person speaking. Concentrate on what is being said, don’t get ahead of yourself thinking of an answer, just listen to the entire message, not just part of the message.
In a business setting it would go something like this:
“What I hear is that you have lost several sales this month because you could not give the buyers a price on specs they wanted to buy? Is that what you are saying”?
“Don’t feel down, we’ve all lost sales. Please, don’t feel bad about it, it really is not your fault”.
There are other styles os empathetic listening, if you want more examples, please drop me a line at my email: firstname.lastname@example.org or fill out the form below.
These are Critic Mode, Defensive, Interrogator and the Diagnostic Mode. (Speaker)
We will end this session with some listening tips that you can start using immediately.
Eliminate distraction. Such as shuffling through papers, appearing distracted by something, (looking blank) writing or reading notes, answering the phone, making a phone call.
Eliminate physical barriers if possible. The distance in which most people feel comfortable is around 3 feet. Never closer unless of course, the person is in your personal circle.
The information I am making available to you may be known to you already so this will help as a “brush up” on these skills. If you are new to this type of training I suggest you apply one thing at a time. Once you master the one that interested you go the next. I suggest you don’t try to remember all of them at once.
This is a great tool for those that deal with clients and a great tool to improve communication with your family and social circle.o
Next blog we will talk about using body language effectively (a separate blog on body language will be done at a later date. Please let me know below, if you would like more examples for better understanding or if you have any comments or would like to be on our email list. Please share with your friends and keep coming back for more. Thanks!
Keep well and be happy,