I hope you had an enjoyable time this weekend and if you traveled that it was a safe one. I guess you have perceived in the few writings that I have done (I had technical problems, I’m sorry)that I’m of the opinion that each one of us is responsible for our actions, for our failures and for our success. Other people place the blame on circumstances, environment and “luck.”
I’ll explain in a simple way why the control is totally yours. Imagine a clock, no numbers on it, please. As you know your thoughts never stop, they are ongoing 24 hours 7 days a week, unless you purposely restrain them (through meditation or yoga for example .)
At a rapid pace, many thoughts go through your mind, without any action, just a fleeting thought. It’s like in some photographic cameras you need to focus before you move forward to take a picture. At this point this thought does not have consequences, actions, it’s just a “click.” However, if you, for any reason such as emotion or reaction choose to “nurture” that passing thought then things take a life of its own.
At this point, you thought is not a quick “click” a “fleeting thought.” Let’s use an example, a wife who is waiting for her husband at 7 pm for a romantic dinner does not call, does not show up and it’s 9 o’clock.
Suddenly it crosses her mind the question “Where is he,” as many would say “He, must be seeing someone.” Without any basis or any other consideration. Automatically, she starts looking for clues to justify her thought, and the race is on. Or she may choose to think, he “Ran into a friend, had a flat tire, forgot something at the office, or worse yet he has no power on his phone.”
Two responses, one negative and one positive. It is her choice, no one else’s and so is everything that follows.
It is absolutely her and the steps that will follow will be either negative or positive.
We make a choice, the action follows, again the action will be negative or positive.
At this point, we reap the results of our decision.
If the results were negative the pain, distress, the conflict will follow. If we chose to handle it in a positive manner, there is more opportunity for clarification or explanation of the situation. However, never discuss anything while you are upset, give your self some time, be it days or hours. Then address it without being accusatory. The issue that has caused the conflict should be discussed, if not resentment set in and the situation gets even worse.
Do not be sarcastic, do not belittle the person, listen, just listen, that does not mean accepting abuse If there is emotional, physical, or verbal abuse then it’s time to go. You should always look out for your safety first.
If you are in a physical abuse relationship, make exit plans beforehand. We’ll talk about this in another blog.
What I have shared sound easy, it takes discipline, it takes work on your behalf. Once you get the “hang” of it you will notice how taking over how you think it’s not that terribly hard, just takes other than hard work, awareness of your thoughts and ask yourself, if you reacted or acted.
I shared an exercise in another blog that I will share again. Go a day without saying anything negative, save a quarter for every time you fail. You can do this among friends o or co-workers or even church members. It’s fun and it’s education and control.
The control of your thoughts on your thoughts is powerful. These are the tools we need to reach peace, healthy mind, happiness and a better life for ourselves and others that come in contact with us.
Begin your week feeling uplifted, inspired and happy!