How do your thoughts make you feel?

I trust this finds you well.  Thank you for following us in our journey to happiness.  We have had some technical issues that have not been resolved yet, However, I am determined that it will be resolved shortly.

As I communicate with different people I can appreciate how challenging “living” is.  Without a doubt, if we are not able to control anything in this world but ourselves then we can only consider using the tools we share, so they can be applied to situations we may encounter

In other words, how you fell about situations in your life depends totally on your perception (which starts with your thoughts on the subject) rather than the situation itself.

If your original thought was positive, your feelings would be pleasant, happy, smiling rather than being tense, anxious and “difficult.”  Of course, negative thoughts would be just the opposite and your physical symptoms would probably stressed, apprehensive, anxious or maybe irritable. 

Think a bit about these feelings you have experienced during periods that you have been in one of these situations.  How have you felt?  Do you see the connection between the thoughts you had, how you felt, the actions that may have followed and if you want to take it a step further the consequences, negative or positive.

I’m quite aware this sounds easy, but it does take work on your part, but it is absolutely beneficial.  Learning to take control of your thoughts is the best gift you can give yourself and if you have children, teach them as well.

You may find beneficial to write your findings down and see with time as you look back on your notes how you have progressed. This is your choice.

Do you want to invest this time in yourself?  Do you feel you are worth it.  I sure hope so. You will have such a positive impact on the people around you.

Absolutely, it all starts in your thought, in that involuntary process of the mind, which is going all the time, unless you consciously stop it  through meditation or focusing intensely on something else. Reason as to why I place a great deal of emphasis on learning to control your thoughts.  Not your mind, your thoughts.

It takes practice, but when you manage it, it gives you great satisfaction.  The exercise is a simple as at first, being aware of how many negative things you do a period of time, it could be an hour, a half day or more. Jot that number down.

For example: “I don’t feel well”.  ” I don’t like the weather.”   “I don’t like that food”. “I don’t feel like getting up.”  “Indeed there are endless things we say and do every day.”

Negative? Being “, “rude”, “nasty,”, “yelling”, among others that you can identify.

Once you are aware of this keep being aware of how many times you do it and do a conscious effort not to do it.  After a while it will become automatic.  You will see your relationships change. You will be someone who people want around and not on the defensive because they don’t know how explosive your may react or negatively you may react.   Not agreeing does not mean being negative. You can agree to disagree or you can simply listen and acknowledge. Never ever stop someone from expressing their thoughts, just be quiet. 

People may get annoyed by your attitude of “know it all,” “opinionated”, “controlling, but more than likely never tell you.  They’ll just avoid you.  If you notice it, the first thing is what am I doing or saying that causes this rejection.  Look to yourself first, then if you feel in your heart, in a constructive manner know it has nothing to do with your behavior, like I say “hit a delete key” on the relationship or amend your behavior. You need to be your own critic. You may want to ask, “What is preventing me from resolving this situation myself.”  This will result in less conflicts and better relationships.

As I said before and without being redundant, practice being positive.  Substitute negative thoughts the moment the pop into your thoughts with something pleasant. We are going to move forward making small adjustments in our behavior and also recognizing our our virtues and enhancing them as well.

Next time I would like you to think about identifying any problems you feel you have right now, that will be our next topic.

If you have any questions please contact me.  If you know of anyone whom you believe would like and enhance their lives and lead a happier life please share this information.

We will continue on our journey to happiness and please let me know what topic you would like me to cover in one of our next blogs.    

Please let me know your views on our contact sheet. Click: How do your thoughts make you feel?

Thank you and keep smiling, keep spreading love and kindness.

Ann

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

y”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Short Stop On Our Journey to Happiness

Welcome!

Spring is finally making its entrance and things are so beautifully painted in bright colors.  

The birds are so happy. I have a nest on my deck, every spring the birds come to the same place.  Last year a baby fell, my dog Missy picked it up and laid it at my feet, she did not hurt her. She was fine and flying in a few days.  Incredible, my heart swelled.  We can learn so much from animals. Missy is 72 lbs.  Yes, she is a rescue.

I was unable to follow up on our conversation since chaos set in, but having “the tools” I’m dealing with the situation. Two computers down, locked, no clue why or how.  

I’m wondering how many took time out to try not to say anything negative for at least 24 hours?  

That’s a very revealing exercise it is worth trying. It shows us how we sabotage ourselves with negative thoughts.  Imagine how the internal monologue goes.

I wonder, right now, are you worried about something?  Something perhaps that has not it even happened. So you really can’t do anything about it.  

What makes more important is that it may not even happen, so why worry about it? Why weave a web in your head about something that is not even real?

This is where that exercise would have indicated to you it is all a fabrication in your head. A negative thought that YOU chose to give it power.  Let it go!

 Don’t have anything that you could be enjoying at this time?  No? Call your family, a friend, read a book, give yourself a “spa” moment, play with your dog, do something like meditating or do self-betterment exercises. This moment is all you have. You well know that the past can’t be changed, the future is uncertain.

Life is so sadly fragile, live today.  Make it a choice to enjoy every moment of the day, try it, it is doable.  

Self-control does take effort, practice, determination and the resistance to change unless you are an avid learner.  

I may add that the resistance to change diminishes when you see that there are many alternatives that can work for you and lead you to a path of happiness.  Not because you are financially solvent, not because you got your dream car (and now have a loan to pay), not because Mr. Handsome asked you for a date. NO, only because it is your choice.

Happiness is your choice, no one else’s.

To make those healthy choices you must learn to control your thoughts you must exercise self-control.

Thoughts will determine your character, your future,  they will lead you in the path of happiness is you use them in a positive manner NO matter what the apparent circumstances may be.

 Remember plant good seeds, they give good fruit. What goes around comes back to you.  I cannot overemphasize this.  

Make every word, every action count in a good way.  What I’m sharing is nothing new, it’s just that sometimes we forget, so we have to take time to take care of “me.”

 Don’t allow yourself to play the “when” game.  Everything will be ok “when” I get a new job, “when” we get married, and on and on.

 Don’t create co-dependent relationships.  Where you depend emotionally on that other person to be happy or make decisions that you want to make.

Remember time nor words can ever be taken back.  Our time on earth is unknown, you have but one life, make it worthwhile.  

There is and there will never be anyone like you. Make it count. It does not mean being selfish, oh no by far, for it is in giving that we experience true joy.  

When I was in grammar school my teacher told us “Make a friend every day, learn a new word every day, make someone smile every day and do a good deed every day.”  I never forgot those words and practice them as part of my daily routine. God bless Mr. Strauss for that lesson.

If you see a need, step up to the plate. Don’t do things for others expecting retribution.  If you have nothing pleasant to say, stay quiet.  Words are terribly powerful. One word can start a war, can save someone, can bring joy, tears, hope to someone.  Don’t be opinionated.  In other words, if you have nothing pleasant to say, don’ say anything.  Don’t talk bad about other people.  Remember, there is nothing in this world that is absolutely secret.  

Don’t lie.  Don’t snap at people, don’t yell and don’t judge.

You have enough things to handle to have peace in your life, you need to work on your life to be happy and protect that happiness.  

That happiness will radiate through your eyes, your body language, your attitude and their lives will be enriched and they will probably ask themselves, “what an incredible person” Or “There is something different about her now.”  

Yes, that glow will be there because you chose happiness.  

This is an endless work in process.  Change your thought pattern and change your life and everyone around you will also be happier.  It’s your choice and it is FREE.  

I will admit that this is not for everyone, and although their lives are full of pain, they are explosive, with bad blood, frustration, they live a tumultuous  life, abusive relationships, seeing no end to their misery they will resist admitting things can change, and it is their choice to do something about it. 

Most people will run away from the truth, of the reality of their lives or are in a comfort zone and are “happy” being unhappy.

I apologize for my delay in coming back to you.  It was out of my control.

 If you wish to have some of the personal itemized ways we as women sabotage ourselves and how we can break with that behavioral pattern go ahead and drop me a note along with the contact sheet.    

Please share with anyone you feel would benefit from the aforementioned information and wish to live a happy balanced life.

Be happy and let’s master the power of our thoughts.

Please let me know your concerns.  Thanks

Ann

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The journey has begun

The Journey BeginsThe Journey has begun indeed.

I hope you had a great weekend.  Before fullfilling a promised I made, I truly serious about knowing how many of you were able to do some of the excersices  I suggested you try, since it was a religious holyday you get a “go card.” I’ll come back to this next week.  

As a reminder it was about not saying anything negative  and paying a fine of 25 cents each time you did.  The other, was how would you define as being successful yourself.  In the stillness of the night I was thinking that from the moment we are born – we are being shown and told how things are, you don’t even get a chance to pick your own name, nor choose where you will be born or who your parents will be.  That is carried forth in your life until it becomes your reality. Then you say, this is me, this how I believe, I can’t do this, I can’t do that.

 If this behaviors are imposed by fear, they will lead to a troubled   life. If they were taught in love you will obtain happiness.

As you live other experiences, that can well enhance your personality or damage it, you must have the necessary courage to break away that was  instilled in you by fear and/or brings pain to your life.

Perhaps an examle of this will help.  I had an extremely strict, militant father. He would have been a great general.  

At a very young age I remember saying to myself, “When I grow up, I will be tolerant, I will listen to what others say, I will not be judgmental.”  I did not want to be anything like him in any way shape or form. I was literally petrified of him.  

Surely he thought he was doing the best for us by teaching us good values, manners, respect and social behaviors, the problem was it was done using fear.  

In retrospect my mother was the opposite. My mother showed patience, tolerance and love, that helped.   So, that made me very interested in human behavior at a vey young age.  

Just inagine people that have had an undesirable upbringing or perhaps (I would call it ) being “Dragged up,”  how challenging it must be to achieve a fullfilling and meaningfull life.  

It can be done! Absolutely and I’m proud to say I’m one of them.  The understanding of what I shared took all the guilt away, which children tend to think all that happens “is my fault.” In life we will face many challenges, however if we at least have an idea that the behavior may be “hereditary” our response may be different.  

That is why I always say  – Before you get into a serious relationship – observe how the behavior is with the rest of the family –  you can multiply by 1,000 undesirable behaviors presently and that is how it will go.   A bad relationship can mark  you for the rest of your life and you know what, we have one life, let’s make it count.  Live each day as if it be your last.  It does not at all matter how old you are, life can change at a blink of an eye.

I have lived a good life, and a very emotional, challenging life, it pays to adjust one’s thoughts as required by the situation. To be the eternal none judgmental person you can be, to be aware of the power of the words (you can NOT take them back, no more than you can take time back.) the power of kindness, of love, of gratefullness and among others forgiveness.)  We have got to learn to say NO to ourselves and to others is situations violate your believes .

As I aforementioned before, we cannot change the weather, the color of the sky, weather it rains or snows, we can only change ourselves.

With our behavior we can make this a better world, starting with your own.  It’s giving that we achieve the great reward of happiness.  

You want to see how how are actions affect others.  In the morning to all you see for the first time that day (including your pets ) give them a smile , a sincere one, please.  I’d be glad to see your comments.  

We’ll all benefit from the experiment.  Go ahead Smile!!!!  

No I have not forgotten the Harvard result  I’ll give you the Baskin Robbins taste, the millennial generation in an overwhelming majority prefers  “being famous.”  Followed by being “rich. No comments from me, but I would love to learn yours.

Go to comments or send me a note to my e-mail:

ann@journey-to-a-betterlife.com I look to hearing from you  Thanks

Keep happy and smiling

 Ann

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Journey Begins

 

Thanks for joining me!

Modern life can be very stressful and complicated, particularly for the woman of today. We are called to wear many hats and we forget to take care of ourselves, and I am not talking about having our nails and hair done.

We see a lot of beautiful inspirational verses, however, rarely will someone explain what we can do about our own happiness  It takes decision, committment and action. Only you can make that choice, no one else.  I hope that by the time we go through this topic on our blog  and you have the tools (you have to use them) 😜you will have made the choice to be happy. 

Where does it all begin?

It all starts in your thoughts. Once you understand the thought process and have the tools you can use your thoughts to you advantage.  You can achieve what you want, in the time of tribulation and in spite of circumstances. You can climb the  highest mountain and be just fine.

The ABC of thoughts

Our thoughts stimulate our behavior which may well bring turmoil, fear or pain, peace and happiness. Be aware your thoughts are the makers of our character.  Thoughts not only has an effect on your life, but it also affects those around you. 

We do well to remember that thoughts just like seeds they bring  forth sweet or bitter fruitage,  good thoughts bear good fruit and bad thoughts, bad fruit.  

By now I imagine you know where I am going with this.  In life you can no more change the color of the sky, that you can change anyones’ deamenor.  You can only change yourself.  The rest have the same option.  Sooner or later you will reap what you planted.  

This is an on going process.  It takes commitment, humility, compassion, dedication and being ready to take responsability for your actions.    

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. If things  in your life are not how you want them, you can learn what options you can try that will make that jouney to happiness a joyful one.

There has been an on going study at Harvard University for the past 75 years in happiness.

The results incredible. I will share with you in my next blog. For now let’s do two “simple” exercises:

One – Ask yourself what is success to you? think about it , write it in a writing pad and date it.  We will come back to that up ahead.  

Two: Say Nothing NEGATIVE for a day. i.e.- “I hate this weather” – “My xxxxxx is driving me crazy” etc.  

Share it so they can catch each other when you do. It’s funny , it gets better. Place a quarter in a jar for each time you do it.  You’ll probably have enough for lunch in just a couple of days.

Learning can be fun! By the way please let me know about this type of exchange, because it would help me know if you feel it would help us as women to have the happiness we deserve.  Please share and have a wonderful week. 💕 –  Ann

                   😆😆😆

 

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.

  — Izaak Waltond

 

annquinones@gmail.com